For those of you who are, you know, actual people, you may interested in seeing the cheat sheets that show reporters use to decide what to say about the sound in a room.
Now, when choosing a description to use from the cheat sheet, and although a pair of dice is acceptable, it is considered, by the reporter cognescenti, to be somewhat gauche and, instead, it is consider much more professional to use a roulette wheel (if in Vegas, else use a simulated wheel from a online game), tea leaves, horoscopes [if you know the date each product was launched], or, for the uber refined members of the fourth estate, smashing ones fingers on the number pad on your keyboard immediately after downing a shot of Herradura.
Cheat sheet for new Show Reporters
1. Sounds great
2. Sounds great
3. Sounds great
4. Sounds great
5. Sounds great
6. Sounds great
…
Cheat sheet for seasoned Show Reporters
1. Sounds great
2. Sounds awesome
3. Best I’ve ever heard
4. Wanted to stay here for hours
5. Best of show contender
6. Sounded really good
7. Something special
8. Absolutely heavenly
9. Uncanny
10. Magic
11. Lovely
12. Say nothing at all about the sound
Cheat sheet for underground Show Reporters
1. Caused several people to spontaneously fall asleep, causing several head injuries
2. Causes blindness, infertility and occasionally epilepsy
3. Damaged my hearing forever and all I can hear now is the theme to Daniel Boone
4. Female voices sounded just like Elton John’s piano on one of his early albums
5. Now considered to be a class one WMD and all our photos have been seized by the FBI
6. Hand made by 2 year old boy in his sleep using 100 year old rail ties, costs only $10, and f’n blows away all the $M dollar systems the audiofools love
Anyway, hope this helps make reading all those show reports much more fun and entertaining ;-).
BTW our other show report is slowly coming along here:
