Humor: slow tube amplifiers

We were just having fun at the expense of slow sounding tube amps; maybe you will think this way of describing them is as hilarious as we do.

Not sure why ‘slow’ is such an appropriate word for some brands of tube gear… but it is!

For each note is it like…



I am a note. I am coming to see you. Watch out! Oh, yeah, here I come!

Don’t worry, it’s be soon now. It just takes me awhile to gain a little momentum. Feeling tired, you know?

Ah, it’s a wonderful day isn’t it?

Oh! Here I am.

So. How are you? And the kids? Wacky weather we are having, don’t you agree?

OK! Now it is time for the big decay.

You ready? Sure?

Maybe take a little nap. Feeling sleepy….

Well, that’s better. Guess I’ll be leaving you. Hope you enjoyed my stay!


Bye now…….



Are you sure you’re not getting a little gray….?



So you think you want an audiophile wife?

Maybe you do, maybe you don’t. But if you do, you will have to be up for stuff like:

1. She just will not be happy until you have her favorite $140K amplifier. Then the speakers that do it justice, of course. And, since you want these things too, you just might as well throw any kind of restraint out the front door. This is no longer a place where common sense is welcome.

2. She insists on playing her music too loud and your music not loud enough

3. She makes you move and twirl very heavy very delicate very expensive gear – this is no job for someone who is not extremely fit and willing to sacrifice major body parts in the pursuit of “Let’s try this. No, wait. That.” Wait for it… wait for… it… “No, let’s try this again”

4. Someone who as often as not will be hogging the sweet spot [ever try to fit two people into one sweet spot? Oops. that is a point for the next section]

5. Someone who will go on and on about the poor sound quality of your priceless, PRICELESS bootlegs while she listens to singers who could not find middle ‘C’ if, if, no matter how hard they try, over several decades of effort.

So, an audiophile wife? Really?

But, in the interest of full disclosure *sigh* there are one or two good things one might enjoy about an audiophile wife:

1. She will change the cables while you space out thinking about who knows what. This makes for fuss free, hands off, shoot outs. Oh, and try not to tell her to ‘hurry up’ too many times during a single listening session.

2. She will talk to you about audio. Over breakfast. Lunch. At 3 in the morning [which can be not so good if you are trying to sleep, but if that is the case you can just use one of the commonly known 64,000 ways of quickly ending a conversation with a spouse. That usually works fine. But be sure you remember to DUCK!]

3. She won’t complain about you spending money on audio. Unless she thinks it is something that sucks then OMG you will NEVER hear the end of it, and OMG you must not love her very much if you thought it OK to subject her to listening to THAT POS in HER listeningroom. Oh, and start practicing your DUCK!ing skills.

4. She looks WAY better than all your audiophile mates. I personally see no downside to this. It is, admittedly, a pretty low bar.

5. She will share that ‘rush’ with you when, making a change to the system, things sound WAY better than it ever has before. Sharing this with someone really close to you… kind of hard to beat.

6. [yes, there was a 6. :-)]

Yeah. Hmmmmm…. OK. Guess I’m keeping her.